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Friday, October 25, 2013

Bad Bitch in the Game


A bunch of Ken's friends showed up at the tattoo shop where we were both getting work done (with the money I had earned at the club, or course.) Ken was getting some sparrows on his forearm and I was getting the first part of my foot piece. One of the girls in his clique, I'll call her C., seemed like she was flirting with him. She was his play-sister's best friend, though, and supposedly she was dating his close homeboy. I let it go, and lost myself in the pain of that needle. Ken drove me home then said he had to go do homework. I took two steps into my apartment and remembered I didn't have any Vaseline. So I crossed the parking lot strewn with bread and broken bottles and shadows cast by a sun just beginning to set, got in my raggedy car and drove to Walmart. Somehow, I managed to hobble and float down those aisles at the same time. I felt so lucky to have someone who shared my interest in ink, who would hold my hand while I fought the reflex to pull my foot away. I got what I needed and went home, put the Vaseline on in the bathroom, then went into my bedroom and saw the huge pieces of glass all over the floor.

The window was shattered and a rock the size of a brick lay a few feet away from my air mattress. I walked into the living room and noticed someone had thrown pebbles through the window right next to my doorknob.

I called Ken.

“Someone knows,” he said. Someone in the neighborhood knew I was a stripper.

He came over right away. I told him I didn't want to keep my money in the house if someone had tried to break in. I didn't have a bank account at the time, either. I'd had one before and had problems with identity theft, plus I believed that a bank would report my earnings to the government and I'd get taxed. He said he'd hold onto the thousand or so dollars I had stacked until I was able to move. I gave it to him. I trusted this guy with my life, so of course I trusted him with my life savings.

He kissed me and left, and I dragged my mattress into the kitchen, where there were no windows and the fridge would block anything thrown through the living room from hitting my head. Ken had told me before that his mama forbade girls from sleeping in her house because she thought that would lead to grandchildren. So even though I'd (supposedly) paid this woman's electric bill on multiple occasions, I didn't even ask.

The next day, I talked to the property managers. Walking past other first floor apartments, I saw a few had gotten pebbles thrown through windows, too, but none as big as the rock I'm convinced would have killed me if it had hit my head. It would be a week before the maintenance guy would show up to even look at the damage. By that time, I had already decided that I was breaking my lease.

There was a girl I danced with, let's say her name was Brooke. She had an awesome-sounding boyfriend, Mike, and at the time they were renting a room from some friends they really couldn't stand. Brooke decided she and Mike and Ken and I should all move into a two bedroom, mont-by-month apartment just east of the Strip. Each couple would have to pay three hundred dollars a month for rent, plus half the utilities. Ken and I met them at Panda Express so he could see if he trusted them. He did, and the only objection he had was to the neighborhood, which he claimed was too dangerous a place for me to be in. Brooke and Mike were in love with the building, though, and we decided we would move in.

He gave them the money, since he'd been holding all of it, even coming directly to the club to pick it up sometimes, and I packed what I wanted from the post-apocalyptic-looking one bedroom. That's when Ken told me he really couldn't bring himself to leave his mom, because he was really all she had. He said he would keep living with her and promised to see me more often, and I accepted that.

Living with my friend was fun, at first. We would go to work while her man stayed on the couch playing video games, come home, watch movies. But nothing in either of our lives was sturdy. Brooke got into a huge argument with the crazy cokehead/alcoholic/opiate junkie manager at the club and quit. Logging onto MySpace, I got messages from “Ken's Stalker,” still claiming she was fucking him. He still claimed she was crazy, but the more I investigated, the more I had my doubts. Her page said she attended a high school that was different from the one he'd gone to. I started to suspect he was lying, but I relied on him so much, I needed him to be a good person so much, that my mind wouldn't allow itself to believe he was anything else. I started to think of my mom.

So maybe Ken had been with this girl in the past. Maybe he'd even cheated on me once or twice with her... so what? Pussy was pussy, and if he could accept me fucking other men because it was my job, I should be able to accept him fucking other bitches because he was a man and that's just what men did. I knew he loved me, and I figured out a way to fix things.

Instead of having my intelligence insulted by dumb lies, I used my intelligence to help him come up with an acceptable lie.

“Baby, her page says she went to [high school on the south side] and everybody knows you graduated from [high school on the east side]. But did you only go there your last two years or something?”

“Yeah,” he said. “My mom and I moved when I was in tenth grade.”

There it was. I was willing to lie for him, and he was worth it. I was willing to fight for him, and he'd be worth that, too. When the “Stalker” wouldn't stop running her mouth, I told her to meet me at a motel near my apartment late at night. I put Vaseline on my face and went there, drove around the parking lot, but all I found were tweakers.

Next, my car broke down. I started taking the bus and walking twenty minutes to get to work in the afternoon, then catching the bus and walking home through tweaker-land at three in the morning. Brooke was catching buses to a studio where she did webcam masturbation shows. Ken was “collecting” from me every couple days because we didn't trust our money in a house where friends-of-friends we didn't even know came through.

Just like Brooke, I was having problems with the management at the club. I was the one who sold the rooms- half the time the day shift manager was almost too high to function- and it made me mad that I had to talk tricks out of a “tip” after they'd already paid up to three fifty to the club, then give the manager at least ten percent of my tip. Once, while we were at “our” favorite restaurant, Ken told me about his homeboy's girl. She worked the Strip and no one took a cut of the money she made. Apparently, she'd made twelve thousand dollars her best week.

“I want to set up a time for you to meet them so she can tell you how she does it.”

I was down.

Ken kept talking. He told me that working the Strip, there was a good chance I'd get caught. If that happened, I'd be in jail for maybe a couple days before he got me out, but I couldn't tell anyone his name or else he'd get charges worse than mine. Eventually, we could have other girls working for us. I'd be his only love, and they'd have to answer to me. I knew, deep down, what that would be. It would be like what Eyes had going on with his girl. He would be like my acquaintance Lariah's man, Rock. The crucial difference was, instead of being under Eye's girl, instead of 'joining a team' like Lariah had done, I'd be the bitch in charge. My roommate, Mike, told stories about how he used to run an escort ring with the 'gorgeous, money-minded' chick he dated before Brooke. A few months later, I would dance with a nineteen-year-old who's mother used to 'run an escort ring' with her boyfriend. So in the context of my world, it was not like Ken was suggesting I transport black market kidneys from Mexico or something.

I was a hustler. I was all for increasing my street knowledge and using that plus my looks to make money. Therefor, I was a bad bitch. And therefor, hell yeah, I was down.

I told Ken I would talk to this girl whenever he could arrange it, but during those couple weeks, he was busy and so was I. It was almost Thanksgiving, and I'd bought a ticket to fly to Cleveland for the first time since I'd left.


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